The Healer Syndrome: Healing the World to Finally Feel Loved

The healer syndrome: how we try to heal the pain of the world to finally get the love we missed

Many healers in this world try to compensate for their own sense of unworthiness, and for never having felt truly supported, by carrying the pain of the world on their shoulders. Always being there for others, always being the strong one, bringing in the advice and the care. It can look so generous from the outside.

But it's not as innocent as it looks, because in a way, they are compensating for their own lack of worth and their own feeling of loneliness. And that's not genuine care. No one is perfect here, and there isn't anyone to blame. But this dynamic often keeps us stuck in a victim-saviour pattern in energy healing relationships. Both people are just trying to get their unmet needs met through each other. The therapist becomes the saviour and finally feels seen. The client finally feels held and met.

Something interesting happens when this bubble bursts, though. Often the therapist in this dynamic is extremely sensitive to any criticism and becomes the victim the moment they receive it. Then the client turns into the saviour, trying to make the therapist feel good again, and there we go: codependency at its finest.

Recognizing the victim-saviour pattern in energy healing work

This is, of course, the unhealthy version of the dynamic. If both people can look honestly at their own patterns, it becomes a completely different story. I'm sharing this to show you the dynamic I have been in with multiple healers in my own life. I wanted to be saved. They wanted to save. We temporarily felt good, until we didn't, and the bubble burst, and we were both confronted with our pain again.

This is part of why it took me years to acknowledge that offering healing sessions is part of my path. Because I became aware of this dynamic, and in my early days I had also taken part in the other side of it myself (we always hold both sides of a dynamic at some point), I really took my time with calling myself a "healer." I wanted to make sure this calling would still exist after healing the big chunks of my own unworthiness and grief.

What makes the difference in energy healing that comes from the heart

Does this intention come from an unmet need, or from my heart? If we really listen, we can notice whether a desire comes from an unmet need or from love. An unmet need often carries a certain intensity and fear, where a heart's calling is usually much softer. After doing a lot of healing on this subject, and letting myself truly be held, I got curious whether I still had the intention to give healing sessions at all. For a while I didn't, and I fully accepted that. I didn't need to anymore. Until people kept coming to me, asking if I could give them a session. It felt like a natural gesture I could offer. From there my practice started expanding again, but this time from a completely relaxed and loving state of being.

Am I wanting to fix someone to feel good about myself? Or do I simply meet them as a human being and trust the process? This is the question every healer should ask themselves. We can be good healers when we stop trying to heal anything. How could we ever think we know better than the intelligence that runs this whole healing process? If you've learned a powerful technique like VortexHealing, that's wonderful, don't hold it back from the world either. But let the healing do the healing. You're not responsible for the pain of the world. You don't need to prove anything. When you trust the process to be exactly right, the person in front of you is already whole, and healing will happen in its own way, with or without your presence.

If this resonates and you're curious what a session held from this space feels like, you're welcome to book a free 20-minute intake call.